Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
