i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
