I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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