i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
