i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
