Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't think brook has ever known best
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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