literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
