I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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