Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
