you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize