The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
