he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
