Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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