spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
