I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize