This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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