bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
