On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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