The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I could fuck to npr.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
