Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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