i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
