I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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