Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize