Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
