my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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