Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
