I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
