I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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