Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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