just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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