i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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