Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
