The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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