I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
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I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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