Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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