the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
