I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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