i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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