I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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