I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
