Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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