i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize