I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
