shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
