i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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