what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
