fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
