this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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