I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
