I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
