there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
