Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
