I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
