The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
