He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
try to milk me bitch
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
