I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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