after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
