All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
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Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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