What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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