she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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