yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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