started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
