Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
