My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
