Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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