High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
