Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
