member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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