ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
